Story time

This really has nothing to do with this lifestyle change I've made, but I really feel compelled to write about it today.

When I was about 18, I took a really bad fall. Like, really really bad. I had gone to work at a chain restaurant (that shall remain nameless) and was walking to the ladies room to change into my uniform. Let me paint this picture for you. The hallway was dimly lit and the floor was concrete. I took two steps into the hallway and my feet flew out from under me and I landed right on my skinny (I was 94lbs at the time) ass. My entire body was jarred. I was nearly in tears. I should have been bawling. But I'm a tough girl. I sucked it up and went about my day, though I was unable to stand up straight. The reason I'd taken this massive fall? Some dipshit from the kitchen had taken a barrel of grease out to the trash the night before. He'd spilled some of said grease in that dimly lit hallway. He knew he'd done this. He did not clean it up. That was not "his job" I guess.

I should have gone to the doctor. But like I said, I'm a tough girl and it didn't even occur to me (besides, I didn't have insurance so I couldn't have afforded to go to the doctor anyway). Which made my bosses threat of "that did not happen here, you know it didn't, and no one saw it so don't you dare even think of blaming us." totally pointless. I hope that man gets what he deserves because that little talk was against the law. He should have filled out an accident report. He should have sent me to the doctor. And I did have a witness. His karma is really shitty. Here's why.

That fall knocked my tailbone out of place. That tailbone then over the next several years kept continuing to work itself further out of place. After about 1 1/2 years, walking was somewhat painful. Forget dancing...that wasn't an option. Still I walked. Still I worked out. But it fucking hurt. I didn't equate the fall with the pain I had because my pain was in my right hip. Surely one had nothing to do with the other. I was only about 19 the first time I went to a doctor about my pain. I was told it was in my head because a young woman like myself would have no reason to have hip pain. Do not trust doctors.

So over the years the pain became progressively worse, but no one would believe me. It got to the point where every single step I took I thought could finally be the one were the ball of my hip broke off in the socket. I am not even exaggerating here. Thinking back on this is actually bringing tears to my eyes. I was in so much pain, and I could no longer avoid walking without a limp. I was 23.

I finally found my current doctor. Well, really I found his office. He and his practice partner are both osteopaths. Basically MD's with additional nifty bone cracking and alternative medicine training. I'd had enough of doctors telling me it was all in my head and I just wanted attention. I made an appointment and I told myself I was not leaving until someone said there really was something wrong, and what was wrong was not my brain.

I did not see my current doctor on this visit. A wonderful physician's assistant named Chloe saved me. I told her about my pain. I told her I couldn't walk without wanting to cry. I told her I was afraid I was going to need surgery. I told her I was afraid I was going to end up in a wheelchair. She listened and it was clear she got me. She had compassion in her eyes instead of contempt for my supposed attention whoring.

She asked me to stand up and turn around. She said she was going to put her hands on my lower back, because she needed to check something. She stuck her thumbs in those little divots above the pelvis (Iliac crest if you want to get all technical). She asked me to turn around and she held up her hands. her thumbs should have lined up pretty level. Meaning, had you wanted to draw a line between the tips of her thumbs, there would be no angle, just a flat, straight line. Well, her thumbs did make a straight line alright, but there was a serious angle. She said what was wrong was that for some reason my tailbone had migrated and twisted and it was forcing my pelvis to tilt back and up to the right, and that was putting a ton of pressure on my hip. She'd asked if I'd had a really bad fall at some point.

DING DING DING! Why yes I did! I know it is wrong of me to hope that sack of shit has to feel the pain I experienced. But sometimes I really do hope that guy takes a fall and is in pain every time he takes a step. I have to remind myself it's ok to feel that way, but I'm not allowed to wish that on anyone. Not even him.

After about a years worth of twice weekly adjustments with my doctor, as well as 2-3 times a week over a six month period with a physical therapist, I could walk virtually pain free. I say virtually because I will always be in danger of my tailbone just getting annoyed with me and slipping out of place. Same with my pelvis just wanting to hike itself up on my right side. But you know what, I can tell when it's going to happen. It is my body telling me I am going at something to hard and I have to take a break. So it's kind of a blessing, in a fucked up round about way, because it keeps me from hurting myself too badly by overexerting myself.

What made me think of this and decide to write about it? I went on my walk today. Had to stretch my back out because of my injury, and I didn't get to take as long of a walk as I would have liked. But I have to listen to my body.

When I got home, I'm walking down the hallway of my building, and I see through the glass doors a couple that is coming in as well. She is in a wheelchair. I am grateful beyond words that I avoided that fate. There but for the grace of (insert your deity/thing greater than you here) go I.

Every step I take is truly a gift, and I am one of the few that is lucky enough to know it.

Yay! Day 21

21 days! Can you even believe it? I feel so much better than yesterday. Next time I cheat and decide to have a hot chocolate, it will be made with almond milk. And it will be a small.

Even though I had that stupid migraine setback thing yesterday, I think I'm still making progress. My little control spot guy hasn't really changed too much, but he's still slowly but surely healing. The rest of my spots are either gone or nearly so. And normally the day after a migraine I'm super pooped and cranky and all together not all that great to be around. Today though, you'd never know what happened to me yesterday.

I even got my walk around the park in. Felt strong enough to do two laps, but ended up deciding against it. I'm glad I did, because my back started complaining just as I got to the gate around my building. Still, I did maybe like a lap and a half, so we're moving forward and that's all I can ask really.

That is all. Bed time.

Today really sucked

It did. Here's why. I had a damn migraine. Just all of a sudden my brain was like "HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!! I NEED SOME ROOM TO BRANCH OUT IN THIS SKULL!!!!!!!!!! BRAIN STEM, GTF OUT OF MY WAY YOU ASSHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!" Just for no reason. And my brain stem was all "oh man...not again! Lady, I thought you'd gotten this guy under control finally!"

Actually, I think it was my fault. Time for a flashback...

I had a date last night. Incidentally, I liked him and that's great because I don't generally like other people, but that's not the main point of this story. We met at a coffee shop. I thought about getting a chamomile tea but for some reason I said, nah, f that, get a hot chocolate! Not a small hot chocolate either lady, get the medium (which was really kinda big). So I did. And today my brain all freaks the flip out on me. Had to take my medicine, which I thankfully had not taken out of my purse. I'd thought about it just over the weekend, but decided against it. Bless my lazy self!

C suggested maybe it's due to the fires (biiiiiig fires) and that's stirring up my allergies. I think maybe it's a bit of both.

So on the up side, meds worked like almost magic (not fast enough...never fast enough). On the downside, freakin exhausted. On another upside, I came home and had to cook so that I have something for lunch tomorrow. I made some killer pork chops. Only know this because even though I'm not the slightest bit hungry due to the brain freak out, I poked one of them (to check the doneness-I'm a professional! Ok, not really, but the lady from Secrets of a Restaurant Chef said you should poke your meat to check for doneness. SHE is a professional so who am I to argue?). You can't just wipe yummy pork chop goodness onto a dish rag. So I tasted. YUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMY! I'm so excited I get to eat that tomorrow!

Right now though, I'm super tired and sore and I don't know why I'm writing this instead of already being in bed. I think I'll fix that right now. Night night.

I'm a bad blog poster

So, I'm on day 17 now I guess? Here's what I've got to report. My psoriasis is officially healing. I'm not sure if I said that already or not, since it really was official last week. But if I did, I don't care. It's super exciting, so I'll say it again...my psoriasis is healing!!!!!!!! I mean, you probably couldn't tell the difference, but I sure as hell can. It's fantastic. Had hoped this would happen, but surprised it happened so soon.

Other things. Hmmm. I got a nifty new alarm clock. It's called a wake up clock. It is a light. It is cool. I was so excited about it the first night I had it that I slept like poop. So I didn't get to find out that morning if it worked or not because I was awake well before it ever went off-or rather on I guess. I was less awake the next day. I'm plum tuckered today, so maybe I'll see what it can do for real tomorrow. If you're wondering, I don't normally say plum tuckered, but it fits me right now. On a side note, I told my boss about the so excited I didn't sleep well. He is once again concerned that I don't get out enough.

Went to the zoo today. Had ice cream. I know I'm not supposed to since I'm still in my first 30 days, but I was at the zoo! I will probably pay for it tomorrow. Oh well. I enjoyed it, so there! Hopefully future me will forgive past me.

Oh, and I gave up on the no egg white thing. Pretty quickly really. Eggs are just not as good without them. And since, as I said earlier, my psoriasis is already healing, I'm not going to concern myself too much with them for now.

And another thing, I'm sure I said this before, but this is not about weight loss. Yet, I am not sad to say that the scale read 109.5 this morning. I now weigh ever so slightly less than I did when I was a fat kid. It's pretty crazy to me. I didn't think I had any weight to lose. I know it's not all inflammation related at this point either, because I can actually see changes in my shape.

I feel stronger, calmer, and healthier. Totally worth not having some M&M's or toast I think.

Note on day 9

I have issues with cold. Like makes my heart feel like it's going to stop if I have to say, hold a can of freakin cold soda or stick my fingers into some meat that's only juuuuust defrosted and is still really cold. Seriously, it makes my heart hurt. That always kinda freaks me out since I have a mild heart condition. I don't think I've mentioned that yet. See? I'm not nearly as healthy as I look upon first inspection.

Anyway. That sticking my hands into only just barely defrosted meat? Just did that. My heart didn't hurt. That's pretty nifty.

That is all.

7 8 9!

Nothing too exciting to report. Today is day nine, but it's still early afternoon. I have a bit of a headache. But I think that's because my brain has finally realized my neck is out. I have this terrible habit of putting off getting my neck fixed because it's such a hassle. Take time off work, pay the copay yada yada. But really, I should just suck it up. I'm still going for my walk today, but I think it's just going to be around the block and not around the park. Trying not to push my luck too much!

So my first week is officially done! Gave my dad the book on Thursday (day 7). He was much more open to it than I thought he would be. He still only promised that he'd read it with an open mind. We'll see if he and my step mother decide to do the 30 day thing or not once they're done reading. My dad has scared the crap out of both of us on more than one occasion with heart attacks. He had his first about 16 years ago. He is young and already has stents and is on statins :( At least he's taking CoQ10, but I'd rather he be off that crap entirely.

I decided to start following the autoimmune protocol a bit closer. No more peppers for a bit. So no more fajitas... the horror! Oh well. Yesterday I was on Robb Wolf's forum just reading through the entries that looked interesting and then I finally noticed there was one dedicated to autoimmune. In there I found a lot of questions about eggs. Seems I'm not the only autoimmunie that doesn't want to give them up unless I absolutely have to. While looking through all those questions, I found someone had put up a link to Dr. Cordain's blog that explained why eggs are awesome unless you have autoimmune issues. Seems it's the egg whites and not the yolks that are an issue. I hate separating eggs, but the yolk is my favorite part anyway so I'm all over it. I did figure out this morning though that the egg whites are "the tie that binds" if you have any interest in making scrambled eggs. Screw you egg whites, I shall persevere and overcome!

My spots seem better today too. They're all a bit less pink and moving to the oh so lovely pinkish yellow phase. The newest one that is serving as my true test is smoother and flatter today than it has been since it appeared, and is pink and not strawberry colored. Not getting too excited about that yet though. Psoriasis has good and bad days. I could wake up tomorrow and it could be back to swollen and red again.

I was able to take my walk most of the week. The weather has been outstanding, and it's not going to last, so I had to take advantage while I could. That's part of why I'm going out today (and hopefully tomorrow). It's supposed to be poop weather all next week.

What day am I at now?

I can't remember. I can't remember because I'm super tired and before I clicked on "new post" I forgot to look at my last post to see what days it covered. I'm super tired because of the stupid time change. Following is my brief letter to congress about said time change:

Dear Congress,
Why is it the three things you can agree on seem to be that you work really hard and need ANOTHER vacation, you work really hard and you need ANOTHER raise, and that this "daylight saving time" is working so well we should do it more? It doesn't save a whole hell of a lot of oil in the long run, there are far better options out there to conserve that stuff. Ben Franklin wasn't right about everything, just most things. Remember the turkey incident? See, not always right! And frankly (no pun intended, but there it is), the baaaaaad things that happen as a result of springing forward don't seem to make it worth it at all.

Did you know Congress, did you know! that you're more likely to have a heart attack on the first Monday of the springing forward bs part of daylight saving? Did you know Congress, did you even know!, that more car accidents occur the first week of said bs part of daylight saving? And Congress, did you know that more pedestrians are likely to be run over in that same first damn bs week of daylight saving? You are actually killing and injuring people with this stupid shit! You people are assholes. I've got two words for you- term limits! Oh that reminded me of a forth thing you all seem to agree on. The President needs term limits but not you assholes.

You're assholes. I'm tired. I hope all your houseplants die and your shoes keep coming untied all day.

Sincerely,

Me

 Anyway, today must be day six because tomorrow will be a week. I'm getting used to this whole thing, so I have nothing exciting to report.

Oh!

This is not exciting, sorry if the exclamation point tricked you, but I write exactly how my brain sounds at that moment, and at that moment it said "OH! Write about that thing!". Before I started this little experiment, I had a new spot that hadn't quite reached its full psoriasis potential. It did last night. I took a picture of it. Since it's brand new, this will give me a good opportunity to see if this way of eating shortens the healing time. Cross your fingers and hope for a yes!

I'm going to finish making my evening tea, take a bath, and go to bed.

4&5!

Short post (I hope-I'm too verbose)!

Yesterday I still didn't have a headache so I took my neighbor's dog for a walk. She's tiny and she knows I like to take her on long walks and she doesn't always want to go, so I have to trick her. Her punishment was that she stopped every ten feet to sniff and pee. Even when there was no pee left to pee, she still had to go through the motions. Took for freakin ever! Yesterday was otherwise uneventful. Had the same munchies as Saturday, plus more bacon. Is there anything better than bacon? No wonder someone decided to put it on a cupcake.

Today was also uneventful. I love my little bacon and egg scramble, so I'm going to stick with it until I figure something just as delicious out. I ate the last of my little chicken today. Tomorrow is fajitas for work day! That was also my little dinner. When I got home it was still light out thanks to daylight saving time. It is not daylight savings time, just FYI. Google it. I dropped all my stuff off and threw on some jeans and a tee shirt and took myself for another walk around the park. Still sore from my walk on Saturday, but the best cure is a walk and a hot bath! Check both off my to do list for today. Still only one loop, but I'll get back up too it soon. My neck is back out. My brain has not yet decided that this is a terrible thing. Hope I can get away with not getting an adjustment for a few weeks.

I'm having my evening tea-with honey. Hopefully between the hot bath and this, I'll be able to trick my body into thinking bedtime is an hour earlier than it was 3 days ago. Lights out shortly to help with this!

The rest of day 3

It was so beautiful outside yesterday and I got to enjoy it!

I have to be at work relatively early, so I take advantage of my weekend opportunity to sleep in as much as I can. I really only manage to sleep another hour most of the time, but I like to lay in bed for a while after I wake up. Because I can! It's the little things in life right? It's especially nice when you did not sleep well the night before...I woke up a lot Friday night (and last night too), so not having to get up to go to work was especially nice. The kitties usually decide when it's time for me to get my tush out of bed on the weekends. One of them will start licking my face when she feels it's time for me to start my day.

Had my bacon and egg scramble again. And my tea. Not in that order. That was a mistake. By the time I remembered to eat breakfast, my blood sugar had spiked and crashed from the sugar in my tea. No bueno. I was off for most of the day.

But I got my walk around the park in! I normally do two loops (roughly 1 1/2 miles) and then loop around my block, so my walks usually add up to nearly 2 miles. It's been so long since I've been able to be active that by the time I got my first loop around the park done, my back started telling me it was time to wrap things up. I have a lingering back problem from a fall I took several years ago. In a way it's a gift because it does not allow me to push myself too much-which I am otherwise very inclined to do. There is a little walking path that goes around behind my complex and then wraps around the back and then around to the front of the building, so I did that instead of my walk around the block. Vitamin D production and exercise? Check!

Did more shopping and managed to get everything I forgot earlier this week, plus bananas. By the time I got back home I was feeling funky from the blood sugar crash so a banana it was. All better.

Had steak fajitas last night. I am a good cook! I wished I had guacamole to go with it. Will have to take care of that today because I made a ton of food, and it's just little me eating it, so I have lots of leftovers for the week.

Today is another beautiful day! I am sore from my walk-sad I know. A bit over a mile and I'm sore :/ Oh well. At least I was able to get outside, unlike the previous billion weekends. I'm going to take my neighbor's dog for a walk around the block in a bit. She's getting fat and we could both use it.

Day 3 note

This may be inconsequential. And I have to say right off the bat that this is not my goal, but figured it would be a side effect so to speak. On day 1 morning, my scale read 114.8. This morning my scale read 111.8.

Since I'm a woman, I always have minor weight fluctuations. I'm typically between 112 and 116. The only reason I'm making note of this almost 112 thing is because I'm usually 112.something. I have not seen below that number in several years. Not since I had the 1 2 combo of a super stressful situation and chicken pox (never had them as a child despite my mother's very best efforts. I guess she used to send me to go play with any kids from preschool or in our neighborhood that had chicken pox so that I wouldn't get the complications one may face as an adult...She's always been good about looking out for me!). When that happened I found that I had dropped from my normal 112-115 to all of 108. Stress+chicken pox=no eating for about a week and a half. I lived on Muscle Optimilk for that week and a half.

As I said, weight loss is not my goal. I've been the weight I've been, minus the chicken pox incident and the time I'll talk about below, for about 7 years. I'm comfortable in my own imperfect skin. It took a lot of work to get to that place, but it was made easier because I'm a healthy weight for my frame (petite-ridiculously small boned really. My wrists are a joke!) and height (5'2 1/2"ish), and a good portion of my weight since I lost all that weight in 7th grade has always been from muscle. Add in my relatively good metabolism, and I've easily been able to get away with cupcakes and chocolate here and there.

I think it's water that I've lost. But I think it's water that was there as my body's attempt at protecting me from inflammation. Just like the 5+lbs I lost the first week I went gluten free. That was the only weight I lost going gluten free (and that was fine. I didn't go GF b/c I thought it was some amazing new diet, I did it for my health. Just like this). I had gotten up to 120 and that is too much for my body. I know there are a lot of woman that would kill me for saying 120 was too big, but it was. Mind you, I'd gotten up to 120 and wasn't eating anything unhealthy and I was working out. I could not understand why the scale would not move. I figured it out once I started feeling good again. Inflammation is a bitch.

Day 2!

I'm starting to realize this could become a bit tedious! Oh well, it'll be good for me in the end no?

I started out with a stiff neck this morning, which I'm pretty sure was left over muscle whatevers from getting my neck fixed on Wednesday. I get worried though, because it can also mean a migraine. Thankfully, not today! I had a stiff neck all day, but I think that was the price I had to pay to not have a migraine. I'll take that option any day.

I had my super yummy egg and bacon scramble again this morning, because I dragged my lazy self out of bed a bit earlier than normal so I wouldn't have to repeat spongy egg icks. Awesome way to start off! I don't know why I wasn't eating something like this before. It didn't take that much longer and was so much more tasty than my daily doctored up toast. Wasn't hungry until shortly before lunch again, so blood sugar seemed to be pretty happy. I did have a little bit of a snack. More on that below.

Side note: So I know according to this book that since I have an autoimmune disorder it's recommended that I not eat eggs. Lots of people react to eggs and don't realize it. This I know. But my heart rate does not increase when I have them, and I don't feel oddly tired, so I'm not too worried. Honestly though, I'm just not up for that test yet. I love eggs! So I'll eliminate them once I've got my mind around this whole new way of eating and see what happens. It took a while when I went gluten free to figure it all out, so I'm giving myself permission to do this in baby steps where I think it will make this whole thing easier to assimilate into my daily life. Back to it.

Same lunch as yesterday...and just as yum! I couldn't finish though-I packed way too much food today. I just had the rest of my lunch for dinner. Tossed in a little more chicken. And ok yes, some bacon. I promise you, it's only little chunks I'm tossing into all of this. It doesn't take much to get the flavor punch!

My baker buddy/coworker/gluten free savior (we shall call her C from now on) also got Robb Wolf's book! And she was the one that recommended the "Paleo Comfort Foods" to me. Maybe she'll be working this into her life too.

C is really good at cutting sugar out. I have to admit, I'm not too keen on this idea either. It's not the candy or chocolate (yes, I do think of them as two different things) or the cupcakes (well, maybe a little bit with the cupcakes) that's hard when it comes to sugar for me. It's the idea of no sugar in my morning tea, and no honey in my evening tea. Yes I know honey is still just sugar, but it's ever so slightly less horrible. But on a regular basis, that's the only extra sugar in my day. I will NOT put a petroleum byproduct in my tea (seriously, just google what your artificial sweetener really IS). And thank goodness for once that no one is telling me to break out the pink packet. Nor do I enjoy stevia. So I'm allowing myself this cheat. For now. We'll see.

I was on Robb Wolf's website yesterday and ran across this recipe for banana bread and I sent it to C since she loves to bake so much. Guess what that little snack I had was today? A little paleo banana bread muffin. They're pretty good! She wasn't too sure about them, but I enjoyed it.

I actually got to do a little cardio when I got home this evening as well. I haven't really worked out except perhaps one time in the last 7 weeks because of the headaches/migraines. Except for this week. That was me being lazy and not climbing out of the rut that the attempted brain escapes put me into. I'll readily cop to that. Hopefully I will remain migraine free this weekend. It is supposed to be beautiful, and I'd like to leave the house instead of having to lay down on the couch and fight the kitties for a place to put my feet. There is a big park nearby that I like to take a couple laps around and I'd be very thankful if I got to do that this weekend!

And that's day 2!

Day 1...With digression

I was supposed to start this experiment last night. I ended up eating all my Qdoba chicken nachos for my goodbye to all this stuff (for a while-I assume I will still have it from time to time) lunch. That's a lot of food. So I wasn't hungry for dinner. I don't believe in eating when you're not hungry, so I didn't.

What I DID do yesterday was go to the doctor and the store. My doctor (who is an Osteopath) gave me some much needed neck cracking and I told him what I planned on doing. He'd not heard of this paleo thing, but when I explained it, he was completely on board. He didn't even flinch at the no dairy! I've not been a fan of milk- or most milk products- for a very long time, and I've gotten used to the idea that all doctors will tell me they're amazed my legs haven't just broken right under me because I can't possibly be getting enough calcium to keep them strong.

On that note, short story time. My mother loves her some milk! She used to go through a gallon of milk every couple days or so I believe. Guess what? She's got osteoporosis. Take that milk! I'm convinced, as is she, that she is also at the very least gluten intolerant, which can cause osteoporosis. She's been making good strides at becoming gluten free, and has given up her beloved milk. She hopefully will be joining me on this little experiment herself. I got her Robb Wolf's "The Paleo Solution" and "Paleo Comfort Foods". Those are the only books I have so far, but I really liked them, so I got them for her. Because my mom is awesome and I want her to be healthy.

After the doctor I went to the store, since over the weekend I'd thrown out nearly all of my food. I found such great deals that I completely forgot to get most of the stuff on my list... oh well. The store will still be there this weekend, and I got a lot of what I needed. Came home and washed all my greens (God help you if you ever eat at my home and expect a salad anytime soon after I've come home from the store. I take forever to wash anything that came out of the ground), tore up my cute little personal sized rotisserie chicken, and made some balsamic vinaigrette. Yay me, I'd never made that before and it is damn good!

I know, this is all super mundane, but again, I'm pretty sure mostly I'm reading this (though I did find a surprising number of page views when logging in today?)...Moving on.

This morning I was completely unprepared for this whole breakfast thing. Normally I have gluten free toast with a sunflower seed butter spread, with a little honey and some cinnamon. It's super yum and I don't get overly hungry until about 30 minutes before lunch. Then I'm screwed, because I'm really hungry! Last night at the store I was fully aware I'd need to take a bit more time to make something this morning, but this morning, well, I forgot. I scrambled up an egg and stuck it in the microwave. Now to be sure, I knew this was not the best choice, but a girls got to eat! And this girl got to eat a spongy scrambled egg this morning.

Lunch was awesome! This is where my excitement about most of my deals came in, and why I lost focus at the store. Organic swiss chard (for some reason I've never had this-now I'm in leafy love), organic kale (hard to find around here this time of year in anything but a sadly wilted state), and organic romaine. A bunch of my chicken thrown on and tossed at lunch with my vinaigrette.

I need to figure out this snacking thing. I'm not a big fan of the nut family. Almonds may or may not make my spots angry (I've always had almond butter with a gluten loaded bread, so they probably don't, but I am still terrified to find out. Any flare of my psoriasis can take months upon months to heal, and that really sucks. Also, this could be psychosomatic, but almond butter makes my tongue feel funny.) I guess veggies it will be until I can get more creative. Too bad I didn't buy any munchable at my desk varieties this go round.

Dinner was also awesome. Who wouldn't want a bacon and egg scramble? While I was making it, I realized that this is totally what I'm having for breakfast in the morning.

Since this is only day one, I obviously have felt nor seen a real difference in anything. But I do think my blood sugar was more stable this morning. I didn't get hungry until right before lunch, so at least there's that.

I took pictures of my active flares, and I will put them here at some point. I want to track any progress in their healing, since frankly, they are the biggest reason I've decided to do this. Not just out of vanity, though to be sure, that is a consideration.

Here's the scoop: If you're not aware, most in dermatological circles believe psoriasis to be an autoimmune disease. It causes the immune system to attack the skin, which causes the skin to grow too rapidly. This leads to living tissue making its way to the very top of your skin (the top several layers of your skin are dead. That's on purpose, trust me). Living skin tissue has NO BUSINESS being exposed to the world and all it's air and germs and whatnot. Psoriasis, like all autoimmune conditions is a real bitch to treat. If you have it, you deal with a lot of rebounding. This is when a medication you were taking just fucking stops working. It truly is worthy of swearing about when this happens.

I had a dermatologist that suggested I go on biologics if we were not able to get my flares under control. Nutshell-a biologic helps you heal because it shuts down your immune system. Cancer anyone? Hell to the no, but thanks for asking. That is a side effect of biologics (and other immunosuppresents...those things are nothing to mess around with. I'm not saying they're not appropriate for some people in some situations, but they are mostly toxic evil shit).

Now as with my migraines, I have to say that I am grateful for the type and severity of my disease. Lots of people have it much worse than I do. They are in much more pain than I, and I bless their sweet overburdened hearts. That's not to say though that I don't want it gone. Gone, gone, gone.

I know my psoriasis is a symptom of an overall dis-ease within my body. And as you know, that's what this is really all about, me getting healthy.

Why?

You probably have two why's in your head right now. One is likely, what do you mean when you say get healthy? And the other, understandably, would be why are you doing it in a public forum for anyone to find? I'm assuming mostly my friends and family are reading this. That's a partial answer to question number two. The other part being, my hope is this will help keep me accountable and to track my progress-God let's hope there's progress!

The answer to question number one is a bit more complicated. If you are a friend or family member, you probably know bits and pieces and can understand why I feel the need to "get healthy". If you don't know me, and were to see me on the street you'd say to yourself "Hey, that woman looks really really healthy! What is she talking about? Does she have that body dismorphic disorder thing I hear tell about, or is she a hypochondriac or some crap like that?" Yes, thankfully my family comes from the deeper end of the genetic pool. Due to that, I am lucky to have a high metabolism (double edged sword if you're jealous.), a good amount of energy even on a bad day, and I apparently look anywhere from 7-10 years younger than I am, depending on who you ask.

That's all great stuff, and I'm thankful for it. But know what? I am sick! You can't see it, and if you didn't know, well, you wouldn't know. But I am unwell. That is something I would like to change, and that is the short answer to question number one. Don't understand? Should we start at the start then? I think so. Settle in. I may be young, but my medical history is stupid long.

I understand the incubation period of my life was pretty uneventful, aside from the fact that my dad liked to put a hot cup of coffee on my mom's belly so I'd kick it. My mother did smoke. No judgment, she has always done her best for me. Asking an addict to quit smoking is asking a lot. She only just recently succeeded and I'm very proud of her for it. As a consequence of this smoking however, I was a bit underweight and, related or not, I was orange. They stuck me in an incubator until that went away and that was that. Otherwise I was a very healthy baby. Bet you didn't think I really meant at THE start did you?

Anyway, when I was about 18 months old we moved across the country to a beach community in SoCal, where my father is from. Shortly thereafter, my parents became a statistic and got divorced. My mother and I moved in with my paternal grandmother. Yes, that would be my father's mother, but I think that's an entirely different story. My grandma had grown up in California, and her eating reflected it. I remember guacamole and grapes and lemonade made from the lemon tree in Grandma's back yard. It wasn't all wholesome. I also remember spaghetti-o's with meatballs. But for the most part, good healthy stuff. I was a bouncy, energy filled kid.

 Eventually my mother and I moved into our own home, but life in California gets really expensive for a single mother. We ended up moving in with my maternal grandmother. She was from Tennessee. Her eating reflected it too. I remember hot dogs and coffee cakes and ding dongs. I also remember raspberries from our backyard, so at least there was that. I became a pudgy, less energy filled child.

I eventually became a fat, unhappy kid. Yes, fat. I remember at 10 years old I was 110 lbs. I am 32 (nearly 33), probably nearly a foot taller, and I weigh 115 lbs. So yeah, fat kid. I never felt "good". I had no energy. I was depressed. Did I mention no energy? Kids seem to be programmed to have a near infinite amount of energy, and all I wanted to do was sit on the couch and watch Thunder Cats (awesome show). I also had developed what we assumed was dandruff. We'll get to that later.

At twelve, my mother and I moved to the middle of nowhere in the high desert area of California. This was a blessing in many ways for my health. We moved to, for lack of a better word, a ranch. My mother had started a job as a caretaker for a family friend's elderly mother. This family had horses and buffalo. I was tasked with helping to care for these huge animals. I carried bales of hay and shoveled horse poo. Not pleasant, but if you're looking for a great upper body workout...it's an option! This was the summer before I began 7th grade. I don't know how much weight I lost, but my mom did have to buy me new jeans. They were a size 7. I think with today's vanity sizing those jeans would have been a size 9 or so. A size 9 at twelve.

 Remember I said we moved to the middle of nowhere? Not even kidding. The bus stop for school was at the top of the ravine. we lived on a plateau in the middle of said ravine. It was probably about 1/4 of a mile away. Not super duper far. Unless you're walking THROUGH A RAVINE. That meant down a little hill, then walking on flat surface for a bit, but mostly it meant walking up the side of a flippin ravine. Guess what? Yep, mom had to buy me size 5 jeans not too long after I started school.

For reasons I won't get into, at the end of my 7th grade year, my mother and I moved to Arkansas. I remained at that point pretty healthy, even started on my school's drill team (that would be the cheerleaders that dance if you don't know) the following year, so I was pretty active and felt pretty good. Most of the time. I had developed some tummy troubles. These days you'd call it IBS. I just called it inconvenient, uncomfortable, and potentially embarrassing. Thankfully, it was not frequent. It also seemed to be tied to my lady times, and my lady times were less than fun, even without IBS. Oh, and my scalp was getting worse...but we're still not there yet.

 In 9th grade, I got my first spot. No, not a pimple. A pink patch of scaly skin. On my face! My. Face. 9th grade is not the best time for random pink scaly patches to appear on a girl's face. It was determined to be eczema. Hydrocortizone was the answer. Never seemed to work, but that was the answer!

Around this time I also decided to become a vegetarian. I love ALL the animals! So it was a moral choice rather than a health based one. My weight at this point was totally under control, and had been since the end of 7th grade. So I wasn't worried about any sort of health benefit. My genes were finally expressing their high metabolism! Though I'm sure all the dancing I was doing didn't hurt.

Things went on as pretty much status quo for a long time. Until I was 19. Nothing got better or worse until then. Except instead of being overweight, I was now 94 lbs. Without trying. My lady times had at some point become extremely light. No complaints there! I had also given up being a vegetarian a couple years earlier. I'd had this insane craving for ham for two weeks. I finally decided if my body was so insistent that I needed ham, well, I must really need some ham. That was the end of that. I did however only eat meat on occasion. Most of the time it was pasta, pasta, and oh, how about some pasta with chicken?

I had a little, cute mole on my chest. Seriously, it was cute! Then it decided to not be cute anymore and to start being ugly. So I went to the doctor. They didn't really want to remove it, but rolled their eyes and did it to shut me up and to prove to me when the results came back that they know everything and that I was stupid and paranoid. Guess what?! No not cancer. Not quite anyway. "severe atypia, unclear boarders, blah blah blah." So, my cute little mole had thoughts of maybe killing me someday in the distant future. But yay me and my stubbornness. Hussy-1 Pompous Doctor-0. I had to go to a dermatologist to have it re-excised (that's a fancy way of saying that the unclear boarders meant they had to cut me up a bit more to make sure it was all out).

I felt betrayed by my own body. I felt a little frightened. The big thing I got out of the experience however was that not all doctors are there to look out for you. Had I let the doctor bully me into NOT removing that no longer cute mole, I don't know if I'd be here or not. I seriously don't. And he seriously did try to bully me. For the record, Doctor that tried to bully me-You're a dick. You went to medical school and apparently all you got was that stupid piece of paper. You think that piece of paper means you know everything, and allows you to push people around when they don't agree. I wonder how many illnesses and how much death has been caused by your arrogance.

Back to my story. Since I had the realization that not all doctors are in it for more than money, I decided I had better look out for myself. Become informed and all that jazz. The only way to avoid big bad doctors was to be healthy! I knew I was not the picture of health. What with me being 94 lbs and light lady times and all. I got some books on nutrition and poured over them. I was doing everything right! Me with my pasta and occasionally pasta with chicken. I did eat other things, but that really was the biggest part of my diet. These books told me though that I could really stand to supplement. So you better believe I did. This gave me a false sense of security, and I actually started eating more meat. I started feeling better too! Thanks supplements! So I started eating more crap food. I finally got up to 104 lbs (the minimum "healthy" weight for a woman of my frame and height) too. All was good. Except my damn scalp, spots, and IBS.

I had a fairly high stress job (and I will not lie, I'm a little on the easily stressed side) and had a mini nervous breakdown. I quit my job and started working at a salon, with the intention of going to esthetics school-something I'd always wanted to do. I was still dabbling in nutrition, and the newest, bestest thing to catch on in supplementation was fish oil. Everything said fish oil was super wonderful. So hells yes, you know I started taking some fish oil! And I did feel better. My spots, which had been getting worse in spite of all my supplementation, started to reverse course. I was sold. Status quo again set in.

I started esthetics school about a year or so later. I learned a ton about health while in school. Most of the other women were very health minded as well, and we all traded our have you tried this, that, and the other stories. Because of this interaction, I believe I got even more healthy. I also started hearing about how gluten was maybe not good for everyone. I'd already moved away from my pasta based life to a Chipotle restaurant life. Chicken burrito bowl, black beans, guac and sour cream. NO RICE PLEASE. Rice is gross. I've never liked it (or potatoes-blech!). So, I patted myself on the back for having given up pasta. Never mind my flour tortillas, or the english muffin at breakfast...

Fast forward a few years. I'm working at a job I like. Things are good. Life is good. I am not. I feel like, well, shit. Yes. I feel like shit. I'm seriously starting to contemplate this whole "gluten thing". I've found an awesome doctor that actually cares about how the people who give him money are feeling. Well, you already know how I was feeling. IBS was waaaaaay worse. I'd taken to carrying around pepto tabs just in case. Everywhere. Spots? Yeah...they were all over me. Face, back, chest, legs, arms. You name it. They hurt :( And they were bigger than they'd ever been. I was depressed. For no reason. Again, job I liked, and life was all around good. The "dandruff" was acting just like my spots too. Ouchie! I'd broken my wrist at 8, and now anytime it was going to rain or snow, my wrist hurt like a mo fo. Sinus infections were a regular thing for me. I was also suffering from chronic severe anemia (and forever in trouble with this new doctor because of it). Oh, and have I mentioned migraines? I got my first one at 12, but hadn't had another until this time in life. Maybe a year or so before really. But they were infrequent and manageable as long as Excedrin Migraine was within reach. Excedrin Migraine was no longer working. WTF?! So I go to the doctor. It went something like this:

Me-"Hi. I feel bad. There's the this, and the this, and the that. Oh, and this and this are worse, and now I've got this thing too. I'm wondering if I have a gluten issue? I read/overheard/maybe made this up entirely that it can do all kinds of bad stuff to people. I seriously don't remember where that information came from. Do you think it could be the problem?"

Doctor-"Ok, maybe. Lets do some blood work. I'll test you for Celiac, and we'll run some other autoimmunity tests too."

Me-"Cool"

Soooo, blood work comes back. No celiac! No Lupus! No freakin red blood cells! So that's an exaggeration of course, but my anemia was worse than ever. So I say something like, you know what Doctor? I think I'm going to try this gluten free thing anyway. He's cool with it, wants me to keep him posted on how I'm doing after a month.

Now that I've made this decision to give it a try, I realize gluten is in everything. Like, every, single, thing. That's how many things it's in. The thing you're thinking about eating? It sure is full of gluten. Where the hell do I even begin?! I may give up before I step foot over the start line. Thankfully, I have a friend at work that DOES have Celiac (of course, not thankfully for her-sucks for her! Her prediagnosis days put my medical history to shame). She's been gluten free for years. She loves food (she actually loves food so much she blogs about it...breakfastatbanjo's at the blogspot place is all her). She turns out to be a godsend for me. I do not know how well I would have done, or how far I would have come on this journey without her. So very helpful, you don't even know. I remain extremely grateful to her.

First week. Dude, I lost 5 lbs! I didn't need to, nor was I trying to. But that's how inflamed my body was. That 5 lbs was not fat, it was water. It was water my body was holding onto to try to protect itself from the gluten monster. AND AND AND! I'm not sad! Nor am I exhausted when I get home.

After a month, my IBS is substantially better. Not gone. Haven't yet given up my pink box of safety, but the bouts are less frequent. My spots? Yeah, still there. They don't hurt as much though, and now are less of a strawberry red, and more of a "I just couldn't wait for the scab to fall off on it's own any longer so I pulled it off" pink. Guys, this is a big improvement. I still hate my spots, don't get me wrong on that front. Migraines are much less frequent, and my wrist is mostly normal. All signs point to gluten is not my friend.

 My doctor is super happy with my progress, and declares me "non Celiac gluten intolerant". But I'm still very anemic. Switched to a new-gluten free-liquid iron supplement. Oh wow, stairs no longer wind me! 2 months after the gluten free experiment began, with the change to my iron supplement, I have all the red blood cells a girl could want! Ummm, that also fixed my lady time issues. I know, you were worried. So we move onto the issue of my spots. My doctor decides to send me to a dermatologist. Guess the flippin fraggin what?! It's not eczema. It's psoriasis! And guess what else? It's not dandruff. It's psoriasis! Fuck man. Something new to read up on. You know I did too. Guess another what? People with psoriasis often are gluten intolerant or full blown Celiac. Rude. Good thing I went gluten free! That was about 2 years ago.

Fast forward to this past summer. I've STILL got my spots! They're fewer, and aren't as ugly or as painful as they were before I went GF, but they're still there. I still hate them, and they're still embarrassing. I went nearly an entire year without a migraine. I guess that was 364 days too long. Migraines started coming back with a vengeance. If rain or snow is in the forecast, I'd know if that meteorologist was a liar or not before anyone else. When the barometric pressure changed, my brain tried to force itself out of my head. Thankfully, Excedrin Migraine was magic again. Until it wasn't.

Excedrin migraine stopped being magic about 6 weeks ago. I have had a near continual headache for 6 weeks that on some days flares to an actual migraine that comes close to kicking my ass up and down the pitch. I've never had visual auras before (the flashing lights people sometimes talk about with migraine), but I had my first one 6 weeks ago.

Now, let me explain how my migraines feel. As best I can anyway. And let me be very clear here, I am glad I get the kind of migraine that I do. Why? Because I can still function (albeit at a fairly low level!). I do not throw up (most of the time, even if I want to), I do not have to hide in a dark and quiet room and pray for sleep or death. There are many people that suffer with migraine that would envy what I go through. I do not envy them at all :( Alrighty. My first hint that one is on the way is the back of my neck starts to hurt and the muscles stiffen. Then the back of my neck gets hot. If you were to touch the back of my neck, you would feel it is measurably warmer than the rest of me when this happens. The heat then spreads over the top of my head and down to my forehead. If I haven't taken something by now, I am SOL. Full migraine will be unavoidable. Next thing that happens is my throat starts to feel as if I've caught the flu. In fact, most of the beginnings of my migraines of late feel like I've caught the flu. Fever and all. If my migraine is really bad, I do have to go home (if I'm not there already-I've had a migraine 5 out of the last 6 weekends-in addition to the ones I experience at work) and go to bed. Because the pain is exhausting more than anything else, and I just need to sleep through it. The pain is like the entire brain is simultaneously being squeeeeezed by a very large hand while attempting to double in size. This very large hand may or my not be hot. My expanding brain thankfully is never hot. Only fighting to be bigger. It does not seem to realize that my skull is the size it is, and that size is not changeable since my plates knit themselves together quite some time ago. While all this is happening, I am wishing to throw up. But usually I don't get to. I just have to deal with the nausea. My upper back also starts to ache and get hot, and my skin may or may not feel like someone rubbed sandpaper all over it (usually my arms). Who wouldn't want all that right?

 I almost forgot about the forest due to all the damn trees here. A couple weeks ago, when I was having some downtime at work, I was on stumbledupon (looooooove it). It stumbled me onto an article that heavily quoted this guy Robb Wolf. It was about leaky gut. That is exactly what it sounds like it is. I was well aware of leaky gut due to my IBS issues. I then thought of something my wonderful Celiac friend told me after visiting a nutritionist that specialized in helping GF people. She'd been told to try taking rather large doses of the amino acid L-Glutamine to heal her tum-tum. I had a light bulb! Even though my IBS is no more, MY tum-tum could still be sad too! But why?! I'm strict about being GF, though at times I do feel glutenated. Maybe there's something I'm just not picking up on here.

 This Robb Wolf guy turns out to be one of those "Paleo" people. You know, the people that want us to eat like cavemen and never have a cupcake ever, ever again? I've been aware of the paleo people for a while, and have always thought there was no real flaw to what they were doing nutrition wise. Other than the no cupcake. That's messed up. I know cupcakes are in no way nutritious. But they are delicious! And that makes me happy. Happy is important...don't ask me to get into the scientific reasons as to why cupcakes, and other super sugary deliciousness makes you happy. Because I know. And I will get all kinds of nerd-girl-who-always-did-well-in-biology on you. And you will never look at me the same. Cupcakes DO make you happy. Problem is, then they make you sad. One then ignores the sad by having another cupcake. Don't judge. Your pasta does the same thing, but it's not nearly as awesome as a cupcake, cupcake.

 Now I've got paleo on the brain. No grains? Hmmm. What will I make GF cupcakes from then? What about my GF bread? And my corn tortilla chips for my Qdoba nacho binge? I won't be having those if I delve too deeply into this idea. But I'm sick. I'm still sick. I'm much less sick than I was before I went GF, but damn it, I AM SICK! And I'm sick of being sick. Are cupcakes and bread and corn chips worth it? Sigh, no. No they're not. So about a week after I read this leaky gut article, I order his "stupid" book. I finished that book in 1 day. It would have been half a day, but I had a migraine.

Remember that I'm a nerd-girl-who-always-did-well-in-biology? Damned if he didn't know that about me and tell me all the science and give me citations and everything! What a jerk! Speaking to my logic like that. Even worse, throwing my favorite of all sciences-anthropology-at me. That was low! Now I have to try this paleo thing, and all because he has his freakin science and stuff to back him up. Doesn't hurt that he's been right where I am either. Speaking from a place of experience is just as important to me as speaking from a place of "official" knowledge.

 Now I've actually answered question number one! Not that you've read this far-I don't blame you. I did really start at the start. Bottom line is this: I'm sick. I'm sick of being sick. Gluten free has changed my life tremendously, but it has not been enough to heal me. So I'm going to try being Paleo for a month. I'm going to write about it here. It will help keep me accountable, and it will help me track my progress (or lack there of if that ends up the case. I suspect it won't be though). You can read about it or not. This is really for me. I start in 3 days!