So Excited!

Again! I'm excited again! Because I'm a nerd. You should know that by now. I get excited about things and everyone I know is like "yeah, that's great..." They just don't even know how happy life can be when you're easy to please. Joke's on them ;)

Anyway. Would you like to know what I'm so excited about? Sure you would! Look what I get to go to tomorrow! LOOK! Oh. My. Goshness. A whole day of Paleo nerd throw down with those three?! All over it.

Let's talk about these ladies for a moment ok? We'll start with Melissa (um, why are there so many Melissa's in Paleoland?). I'm pretty sure she's rad. The woman used to rock the roller derby for goodness sake. That automatically equals awesome. It's just a law of nature, don't try to fight it. Plus, dude, the food! I just got her cookbook. It's been on my Amazon wish list since shortly after I started on this little journey of mine. Put it off off off. Finally got it this week. And I've been kicking myself for waiting! The woman knows what she's doing; we'll just put it that way. Buy it! Buy it now!

Then we've got Miss Nom Nom herself. I do not know how she does it! Work, cook, CrossFit, cook, mommy, cook, friends, cook. And she's a wife on top of it all. She makes it look easy. Know what though? After this weekend, I'll know how she does it! P.S. She's got the best first name in the world :)

Last, but not least, is Holly. I'll be honest, I didn't know about Holly until Nom Nom and Melissa posted about this event. "Hmm" thought I. "Who's this Holly person? Cute website name! Let's go see." What did I see? A cute website to go with the cute name. And way more than "just" a foodie blog (I don't think there's any such thing as "just" when it comes to a blog. People are putting it out there so I'm in no way trying to knock anyone). She talks about life. Her struggles with weight loss (and what it should really be about). Her skin (yay!). Her man. Hell, even what she wants to wear. I'm down. I'm glad she's going to be there because, just as with the other two lovlies presenting tomorrow, I've really enjoyed going through her archives.

These women are so honest in their blogs. Their voices really come through, and I think that's actually what I appreciate the most. Life isn't all about food.

The only thing I'm not super excited about? It's in Estes Park. Now don't get me wrong, from what I understand it's beautiful up there. I've never been. Know why? Because it's like 2 hours from Denver. I like being close to home. That's all there is to that. So I'll be driving for 4 hours tomorrow!

Oy.

But that's ok. I think this will be worth it. I'll be getting out of my comfort zone (something I've decided I must do more of, and that's part of why I decided to go to this), I'll be meeting new people, I'll see a new place, and I'll learn how to make Paleo work even better for me.

When Your Face Falls Off... (maybe you'll forget to click publish)

 I wrote this last week...I was distracted. My face was/is falling off. Sorry.

As you know, I've got the P. As in psoriasis. And as you also know, I'm having a lovely flare on my face. I go back and forth about using my topical meds, but when it comes down to it; I'm vain so I end up breaking down and lathering up (really it's more like oiling or ointmenting up but whatevers).

There's a weird side effect to this though. Not like an actual side effect that should be noted in the literature along with the "real" side effects of rosacia, skin infections, sun sensitivity and so forth. No. This is just a random thing that happens when it starts to work. Your skin falls of. So in my case, my face falls off.

Rather, it sheets. Sheeting is just what it sounds like. You know when you were a kid and you put Elmer's glue on your hand and let it dry almost all the way and then peeled it off and tried to gross out your parents by going "AAAAAAAA!!!!! LOOK!!!!!!!! My skin is peeling OFF!!!!!!!" And then shoving your hand in their faces and they humored you and were all "oh yeah, that's pretty gross...go wash your hands please."? Yeah. It's just like that, but there's no glue involved.

I have no idea where I was going with this. I guess I just wanted to leave you with that visual. But you know what? Technically it's progress. My face is less scaly and just has to fall off now.

Apparently I'm a reptile. Who knew?

Addiction

I have a confession. I have a very serious addiction.

To candy corn.

For real. Today I finally realized it's candy corn season. Once I started thinking about it, I couldn't stop! I love those little orange yellow and white triangles of sugar and vanilla flavoring with all my heart. I can't remember the first time I had them, but I do remember the first time I realized how I like to eat them.

I was probably about eight and I was watching "Golden Girls" with my grandma. On a side note, I'm truly amazed when I watch that show now (you know you love it too and you know "Thank you for being a friend..." is running through your head right now. You're welcome.) that my grandmother, a fairly conservative woman, allowed me to watch that. There's some pretty risque things going on! My goodness. And can we all agree right now that Betty White is still one of the most awesome women on TV? Yes. Yes we can. So yeah, watching dirty old women on TV and I had my epiphany. White first. Then orange. Then yellow. This is the only proper way to savor candy corn.

Yes. Savor. It is that yum.


Candy corn is decidedly un-Paleo. If it weren't candy and was just corn, it's still not on the list of ok to eat. It is nothing but sugar, milk, sugar, sugar, vanilla flavoring, sugar, food coloring. I know because I looked up how to make it today and it's made with all kinds of different names for sugar. I'm sure the commercial brands have an emulsifier and wax in there for good measure. Who doesn't want to eat wax? Silly people, that's who.


Whatever. I don't care.

I'm getting a gluten free bag o' sugar and food coloring deliciousness. I'm getting it tomorrow after work. Gluten free because come on, I'm not that foolish... I'm gluten intolerant for goodness sake!

Vibram Five Fingers... Take Two!

I wrote up a basic first impressions review here... but I need to tell you how I feel now! Feelings! Let's talk about our feelings!

Oh my goodness you guys, these shoes are awesome!

Ok. Don't get me wrong. They're still ugly. That's never going to change. However, can we just talk about the difference they've made in my life? It's my blog, and that's what I want to do; so yes I think we can do just that.

You know I've got that back issue... I never thought a shoe, a freaking shoe, would make such a huge difference in the amount of slippyness I deal with when I'm on my walks. For real. My tailbone hardly ever slips when I'm out and about now (unless I've been ignoring all the signs and my body has to remind me who's really in charge). It's truly amazing to me. I don't really think I can put it into words and accurately describe the difference they've made, but it is like night and day. There, take that cliche and run with it ok?

I can walk longer/farther. I can even sprint! Don't need to put bones back where they go in the middle of the park. It's rad. It's like I'm normal or something. Almost.

And kids (small ones, not teenaged ones) think they're the coolest thing E.V.E.R.Case in point. I'm just walking around the park minding my own business and I see a mom, her 9ish daughter, and her 5ish son. Her son is on his bike (with training wheels. Not at all pertinent to the story, but it helps you visualize no?). They're walking towards me, or I'm walking towards them. However you want to look at it. Little boy is charging away on his bike. Sees me. Sees my feet. Slows down. We're getting closer to crossing paths. Slows down more. We're like 10 feet away now. Stops the bike. He exclaims "THOSE ARE FEET!!!!!!!!" in that excited way only a little kid really can. Points at my shoes and is waving at his mom to see the shoes that are feet.

His mind = blown.

I get lots of weird looks from grown-ups and those impossible to impress teenage types. I used to have a shaved head and fuchsia bangs. No worries, I can totally handle the WTF do you have on your feet face. I'm not sure they'll help me get a date with a cute guy but I suppose life goes on.

That's a post for another day.

Oh you crazy little adrenals you!

I'm not the lowest stress person you could meet. This may surprise some people (though perhaps not my friends that IM with me during the day!) as apparently I come across quite often as some semi-hippie vegetarian yogi tree hugger. As much as I hate to admit it, I am a semi-hippie tree hugger - please don't tell anyone. I'm not ashamed to admit I used to be a vegetarian. Plus, while yoga is great, I freakin hate it. Seriously, it is not my thing. I'm not sure how I give off those vibes to people. What with my skull tattoos and pencil skirts and all ;)

Anyway, I'm actually fairly high strung. Tightly wound. Type A. Whatever colloquialism you'd like to use. The bottom line; I stress easily.

I'm convinced this is part of why I live a semi-hermitic life. I'm an introvert that has the job of an extrovert. That's stressful. I have to see and talk and interact with lots of people ALL DAY LONG. Believe me, it's not that I don't like people (except the one's that I end up blogging about on how my I direct your call?). It's just that it can be a lot for a person like me. When I was working as an esthitician, that was pretty much heaven. Estheticians by and large are introverts. Surprised? Right, because introverts don't like people and blah blah blah. Not true! We just don't like A LOT of people all at once or for an extended period of time. Give me 4-6 clients a day in a one on one situation where I'm helping them heal and de-stress? I'm all over that. Hairstylists are extroverts. Fact.

So, even though my job is pretty great and I like it and am truly grateful in this economy to be able to pay my bills with a bit to spare and all that jazz, it's harder on me than it would be for an extrovert. When I get home, I don't want to talk to anyone. I just want to play a couple Zynga games (don't judge me), read a bit, catch up on some Netflix action (Dexter is my current obsession), hang out with my kitties, and go to bed.

Combine the higher than would be expected stress level of my job with a pain in the arse move and what do you get? Adrenal fatigue. I haven't had a salivary test, so I can only go with my gut. My gut is usually right about things though. My gut said gluten was evil. My gut said Paleo would be helpful. My gut is 99.9% of the time dead on about people. I have learned to trust it. So my gut says it thinks I have adrenal fatigue. We're going with it.

I've been teetering on the brink of this for a while now; I think moving just pushed me over the edge. Now I have more experiementation ahead of me. Beginning with: I'm not leaving my apartment except to take the trash out, go for a walk, or get the mail. I went to bed shortly before 9 last night. Got out of bed a bit after 10 this morning. Rest is the name of the game for the whole weekend. Jealous? Hells yeah you are! Don't feel bad about it, I would be too.

Rhodiola is on its way to me. Naps are all but required. Sun is out in force for my walks. Dexter is still not in my mailbox and this is not awesome, but I'll survive on Lord of the Rings (shush! I am a nerd and I'm proud!) and sleep.

Ready? Here I go!

Paleo is not for weight loss (at least not for me)

I commented to a couple people at work today that as of Saturday, I'm going to be very strict Paleo for another 30 days. I've been pretty good (though I've decided I don't like to tie values of good or bad to my food choices anymore thanks to those Hartwigs) since my last posting, but chocolate is still my serious boyfriend. I'd say I'm about to do a Whole30 but screw you if you think I'm giving up the teaspoon and a half of sugar in my tea in the morning. Seriously, that's my daily gift to myself and I love it so be quiet.

Anyway, their response was "You don't need to lose ANY more weight".

Ok, Huston, Hussy has a problem (or two).

#1-You're both men. Shush about what I need/need not do with my weight. I'm not normally one to get all "oh you men and your oppression of women with your man's world and blah blah blah" I take the Marilyn Monroe stance on that. "I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it." However, I don't think a couple - nice but - overweight men need to tell me about my weight. Just no. No no no no no no no.

#2- When have I ever said this was about weight loss? You can't tell me when, because it never happened.

This is about my health. Did I think weight loss would be a side effect? Check my first Paleo post. Uh yeah, I did. And no, I was not opposed to losing it. While I certainly wasn't obese or what most people even think of as having a little extra sumpthin' these days - I was the heaviest I'd been in my life. I know many women would be thrilled with my before being their after, and that's ok for them, but it was not a good place for my body. Which is why I started losing weight so fast. Eat how your body wants you to, in the amounts it needs, and don't feed it stuff that makes it defensive, you'll lose some junk from your trunk. But first and foremost, I was sick of being sick.

So. Chocolate and I are taking a break from each other after tomorrow. It's ok. Absence makes the heart grow fonder yes? Yes. Or something. Whatever. After my 99.9% clean paleo month, we're moving to full immune protocol (but again, you can stuff it about my tea).

Which means... no eggs! WTF?! No freakin eggs. I love eggs!!!! And exclamation points! Oh goodness, I'm worried. Thankfully, "Practical Paleo" is here to rescue me. 30 day autoimmune food plan? Why thanks very much Lady! I'll be making use of that.

Off. The. Rails.

Yep.

Totally off the rails for like the last 3ish weeks. Well not totally totally. Didn't feast on gluten bombs or anything extra stupid like that. But I did eat an entire box of mini York Peppermint Patties. Yes, you read that right. Box. A whole Costco sized box. I do believe the box read 175 delicious patty yum yums inside (though I could be paraphrasing. That really should be on the box though. You want to hire me now don't you York makers? Mmm hmm, I know. Sorry, I just can't, but I appreciate the love.)

Mind you, I didn't eat them all at once, I don't actually have a death wish. It's seriously taken 3 weeks to do it. Please do not try that at home. No one should ever do that. Your insides will hate you. Your tongue however will think you're awesome. Keep in mind though, the tongue is only a small part of the body. And the rest of you will think...well it just won't be too happy with you ok? No, I don't know why I did it. I know better.

That's not all I've done to myself.

You see, I moved. That's all fine and dandy, the move went as smooth as moves can go, but the eating that resulted from every day for the last 3 weeks having to do with moving? Um, not pretty. Had some Qdoba (still delish, but not as delish as I remembered a mere 5 months ago...) By some, I mean 3 days in a row. Only Qdoba obtained foods entered my tummy. Not cool. Would I like a Dr. Pepper with my 3 cheese chicken nachos too? ?Como se dice "Hell yeah I would!"? Because lets be honest here, water does not wash down the yum that is Qdoba queso like Dr. Pepper does. It just doesn't, that's actual and it's factual.

Oh, and you know, you sleep like crap when you're brain won't shut off at night thinking about all the things you need to take care of. So then at work, you make bad choices. Like you drink soda. Even if it doesn't have caffeine because you want any sort of energy you can get your hands on. I'm not going to lie here and try to play off like I gave up soda forever when I went Paleo. No. I still have it now and then. Except when I had at least a months worth of it in one week. Yeah, except for that disaster it's a now and then thing.

When you're moving, you don't have time to cook. At least not when the you here is me. Nope, sure don't. So you order a salad (delivered). Not a bad choice I know, of all the choices I could have made. But the lettuce? Not organic. Chicken? Hahahahahaha! You are funny. No, that's for sure not meat from a happy chicken who led a fulfilled little chicken life. Dressing chock full of inflammatory Omega 6 Canola oil? You betcha! As those beautiful Hartwig's say: less healthy. Less healthy than what I make for myself on a regular day. By far.

Supplements! Yeah, didn't take those for the last two weeks either. Sigh.

The last 3 weeks turned into an n=1 experiment. What will happen to The Hussy after eating pretty well and making really great progress over the last five to 6 months if she goes on a sugar laden stress eating canola oil chugging (ok, exageration there) 3 week crap food and stress binge?

Well, let me tell you. Psoriasis. Big surprise with that one I know, seeing as how I was still flaring on a pretty clean diet as it was. Crap sleep. It wasn't ALL due to my overactive brain. No, you eat like crap, you sleep like crap, that's how these things go. Anemia? Yeah. I don't have any blood tests to show it, but my nail beds were a lovely bluish white tinge and my fatigue was not just a reflection of poor sleep I know. As I've said before, there is a particular tiredness that only comes from a lack of red blood cell oxygen action.

I'm also more hair triggerie than usual (it's a word. Look it up. No, don't. We both know that will be a waste of time. But you still know what it means so it's a word! Logic -1, real words - 0). I'm anxious and extra cranky! That's just wonderful for everyone around me. I'm sure they've been so happy to share their days with me.

Oh and how bout this for the topper? My hair is falling out. Awesome huh? Love it. No really though, it is. Not in clumps. Just more. More when I comb my hair in the mornings. More when I take a shower. More when I brush. Just more you know? Heavy sigh. But after catching a glimpse of the flare I'm having on my scalp from this stupidity, I can't really say I'm surprised.

On a related note, kinda, minor acne. This is only notable because I do not break out. Can you imagine? An esthetician with breakouts? Ugh. And when I say minor, I seriously have 2 little itty bitty zits. On my chin. Hormones. Chin is hormone related, so my hormones are sad. Big surprise. Eat like crap, get sad hormones.

But!

I'm mostly settled in. By mostly I mean hardly at all but I can walk around without bumping into things and cook without having to remove boxes from the stove so we'll call that good for now. This means I'm back to cooking for my lunches. Getting back into my normal routine. Today was my first normal day since the move. Except I forgot my lunchtime supplements. Oh well. I had my morning dosages, and I'll remember them tomorrow.

And I'm super excited because I ordered "Practical Paleo" and it should be in tomorrow! The reviews of it are all around great, and she's apparently got a good autoimmune protocol and meal ideas to go with it (main reason for the purchase really), so Ima check that out!

Sorry for all the terrible grammar and non words, but I'm still "off". Thanks for not hating me :)