Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?

Me! It's me! I'm coming to dinner! Did you guess right?

As you may or may not know - I think I've said it on here before but I forget (we'll get to that); I don't really do the dinner thing all that often since becoming a full fledged grown up. I did have dinner more often before my n=1 Paleo experiment to be sure. But now that I'm a fat burner and not a sugar burner (and um, still being single is probably a contributor too), it's a rare occurrence. Why the change of heart? Glad you asked...please to continue!

So I mentioned a little while back that I'm pretty sure I'm dealing with some adrenal fatigue action. Since that post, like everywhere I look in Paleoland is all "adrenal fatigue!" Granted, some of that is due to me going to my trusted sites and look for their posts on the matter (semantics, whatever ;P), but other times it really is just popping up. Now I'm not saying that the Universe thinks I have adrenal fatigue and wants me to know about it or anything hippie dippy like that. Ok, so maybe I am. Don't judge me; I cannot help that deep deep deep within myself lives a dirty stinkin hippie that tells me crazy things.

I know it's actually much more likely that since I feel like this is an issue for me, I'm noticing it more in my little world. Like when you get a new car and all of a sudden EVERYONE in your whole town got the same car on the same day...It's just like that. Those cars were always already there, but you didn't notice because they weren't like yours.

Back to the matter at hand. I had an epiphany last night (or was it the night before? Memory ugh! We're still not there). In It Starts With Food, the beauty wonder duo Dallas and Melissa talk a bit about when you can't trust what your body is telling you. Now for me, I'm a big believer that your body wants you to be healthy and we should listen to what it tells us. But what if we've messed it up so much that it doesn't know which way is up any more than you do? How can you trust it to tell you the right things? Their -ahem firm - advice? Eat anyway. Eat three squares a day until you can trust what your body is telling you. I was pretty sure this part of the book (they also said it in their seminar so I guess they really do mean it) didn't really apply to me so I've never really thought about it until now.

I don't eat dinner because I'm not hungry for it. But I got to thinking (and now that I'm thinking about when I got to thinking, and it was the night before last. Good job memory!), I didn't eat breakfast for years either. Years people! Know why? Wasn't hungry. But what about now? You already know. I'm on day 18 no eggs, and eggs have been what's for breakfast since I started Paleo. I've been eating breakfast for years now. So I thought to myself, now you can't imagine life without breakfast, but you didn't have it for years and years. Maybe your body IS confused!

Then I started thinking about how out of sorts I've been (currently suffering from a severe case of CRS, also known as Can't Remember Shit, no matter how much I sleep it's never enough, no energy for my walks but that's ok because due to the CRS I've once again forgotten to bring my workout clothes, by the time I get off work I feel like I could lay down and sleep for hours... you get the idea) and how not eating enough is stressful to the body; which is why Dallas and Melissa say to eat anyway until you can trust the signals your body gives you. My not eating dinner could be contributing to this suspected adrenal fatigue. Oy. Breaking myself down and not even giving it a second thought! Good job lady.

I had dinner tonight (my current favorite meal: ground beef with a smidge of garlic powder, a hefty dose of salt, and a poop ton of cinnamon plus a bunch of baby spinach). I was going to have dinner last night but I came home to a power outage and it didn't kick back in until 4:30 a.m. For a normal person (read non-mega high strung) that probably wouldn't be a big deal, but it really messed with my sleep. When I did sleep, all I could dream about how I had over slept because the power never came back on and I was super late to work and where I'd have to get breakfast since there's nothing ready made in my home anymore. But mostly I was awake because I was worried I'd over sleep and be late for work because the power never came on and OMG where am I going to get breakfast?!?!?!

But I digress.

The weekend is coming up and this dinner thing is going to be a challenge. I am hard pressed to have two squares on a normal Saturday or Sunday, let alone 3. I forget to eat ALL THE TIME over the weekend.

And did you know I have a week long stay-cation starting in 8 days? I am already planning my meals (hint: see food above and lots and lots of bone broth to heal my tummy) so I will not be allowed to miss any meals for lack of planning.

Ok. I'm tired. And unfairly enough, hungry. I ate already! Stupid stomach...

Night night.

Estes Park, or: Why I'll Never be a Race Car Driver

I just got back not too long ago from my 180+ mile round trip to Estes Park and back. That's more driving than I do in 2 months! And I was wrong, I've been there before. On some weekend trip my dad felt compelled to bring me along on (were either of us happy about this decision? Couldn't tell ya).

To start, I need to get something off my chest.

This little paragraph is dedicated to the dude attempting to drive the Honda MINI FREAKIN VAN into my trunk. Number one, you're driving a minivan. Do you understand?! Not a race car. Not even a sedan. A minivan. For real. You are no longer a tough guy in a fast car. You are an adult. Make peace with that, grow up, and calm yourself. You clearly have children (hence the minivan) and I would guess that they like having you around. Which is why you don't drive through the mountains like you drove. You just don't do it. I know most people treat speed limit signs as guidelines, but when they tell you to take a turn at 35 miles an hour in the mountains, it really really does mean you should take that turn at 35 miles an hour-or less! No, I didn't like the white Jeep in front of me either. I agree, she could have gone 55 in the straights just like the signs said she could. However, I really need to explain something to you. Riding my tush in no way causes the car in front of me to go faster. Physics doesn't work in that manner. The car in front of me couldn't give one poop that you are displeased with their driving. Add to that they're not even aware of your displeasure as once again, it was MY trunk you were trying to drive into.

Also, who the flip speeds up in the turns and slows down in straight aways?! Idiots, that's who. You sir are an idiot. Stop it.

Here's the thing. I really dislike mountain driving. It's total white knuckle for me. I'm afraid of heights. Have you looked over the guard rail? I have. That was a mistake. Sometimes it's an awfully long way down! I  have no interest in being on the wrong side of the guard rail thankyouverymuch. So driving in the mountains is super stressful for me. My neck and shoulders tense up and don't even bother trying to talk to me. Just let me sing! Singing keeps me calm when I'm driving (so I do a lot of it. Helps me avoid road rage and keeps me from letting tailgaters scare the crap out of themselves by allowing them to get a little too close to my bumper.). I do not like it. This is another thing boyfriends are good for. They like mountain driving.

Now onto fun stuff!

Today was great! I'm tired and will probably not post this until tomorrow when I've had a chance to digest the info. (and the food! OMG. The. Food.) But I wanted to get some first impressions down.

So after my two hour, white knuckled, average singing voiced "where the in the E freakin F am I?" drive, I park and hop out of the car. Guess what greeted me! Guess! Guess! Just try. You'll never guess! Want me to tell you? Ok, I will. Two juvenile elk. Not more than 10 feet away. And just like human juveniles they were all whatever about the fact that there was an adult stranger 10 feet from them. They just looked at me,  and then kept slowly walking off to wherever they'd been slowly walking off to before I saw them. One of them even looked at me like, "hey lady, aren't you going to take a picture or something? We're ELK!" And I thought back at him, "yeah I totally want to take a picture of you guys. Hang on a sec while I dig in my phone out of purse!" Wouldn't you know it? I forgot to plug my phone in last night. No battery! I could sense the Elk Eye Roll as they were walking away from me. Kids these days, I tell ya, no respect for their elders. So no one is going to believe me about the elk. I don't care. It happened.

Melissa was up first (and the only one I didn't get to talk to...boo!) and she is indeed rad. I knew it! There were a few people there that had just started their Paleo journey, and she did a great job breaking down the what's and why's. She was funny and knowledgeable and personable and just all around super awesome. Poor woman had to talk for hours! Really great tips on how to keep things interesting, even if you're actually just working with the same ingredients you normally have. Apparently spices make all the difference in the world. Sigh. I should know that! She also led us throughout the day through short little exercises so our tushes didn't get sore and so no one would drop dead of a heart attack at a Paleo conference. That would be bad press.

Lunch, directly after Melissa's talk, was a five minute walk away and was deeeeeeeeeeeeeeelicious. All from her cookbook! I am so glad I got that thing, I can't even tell you. Can I just say that after I wrap up my 30 day Autoimmune Protocol the first thing I think I'm making is her chocolate chili? I guess I can say it since this is my blog and I just did. So there :P

Next up was Holly. I think this was my favorite talk of the day. That is in no way to say that Melissa and Michelle were anything to shake sticks at; they were all fabulous. But Holly came at it from a "hey this is my story" kind of way that I just really liked. The woman knows how to get a crowd going too. Very funny. Very honest. Very helpful. She talked about the "Paleo Pyramid" that she came up with. Silly me didn't really take many notes for some reason (probably b/c I was too busy laughing). Basically, learn the frame work. Do it. Adjust it. Learn from it. Find what works best for you.

And last, but of course not least, was Michelle. She also talked a bit about her own journey, but more she talked about how to make it work in a family with a busy life and how to get the kiddos on board. Now, I'm not there yet, but now I know how she does it! She also talked about the experience of Umami flavors and how just combining a couple can make your food freakin awesome without much work at all. (Side note: this knowledge will come in handy because I won fish sauce. I have no idea what to do with it, but apparently it has umami magic inside.) She did a little cooking demo of sorts for us too. We got more yummy food to fill our tumtums for the ride home. I must make her Kahlua pork! So tasty! And, sadly, I now know why I cannot have a Nom Nom Paleo app for my android. Each Android apparently has it's own platform, so they'd have to design it for each one. Talk about expensive! My heart broke a little, but I will survive. Especially since she said people with the iPad app can email recipes... Hint hint C or D ;)

I met some really nice people too. Goodness help me if you were to ask me their names, but I can tell you where they're from! A couple from north Wyoming(!) came all the way down. A woman from Prescott Arizona too. And a couple other women from Loveland. Someone in there is named Annie. I used to be really good at names but I found that most people aren't and frankly they get uncomfortable when the encounter someone who is, so I taught myself to not be good at them. Now I wish I hadn't done that. I will relearn! Or unlearn. Whatever. I will be good at names again is what I'm trying to say here.

P.S. I got to meet my favorite Paleo food blogger too! Juli from Paleomg.com was in front of me in the lunch line and I just went ahead and said "so this is an awkward place for this, but I really love your blog!" She was very gracious and sweet and told me about how she got into CrossFit (no, not for no reason, I asked silly!) and all that fun stuff.

I had a great day. See any of them if they're ever in your neck of the woods.

Now if you'll excuse me, the heating pad is calling for my shoulders.

So Excited!

Again! I'm excited again! Because I'm a nerd. You should know that by now. I get excited about things and everyone I know is like "yeah, that's great..." They just don't even know how happy life can be when you're easy to please. Joke's on them ;)

Anyway. Would you like to know what I'm so excited about? Sure you would! Look what I get to go to tomorrow! LOOK! Oh. My. Goshness. A whole day of Paleo nerd throw down with those three?! All over it.

Let's talk about these ladies for a moment ok? We'll start with Melissa (um, why are there so many Melissa's in Paleoland?). I'm pretty sure she's rad. The woman used to rock the roller derby for goodness sake. That automatically equals awesome. It's just a law of nature, don't try to fight it. Plus, dude, the food! I just got her cookbook. It's been on my Amazon wish list since shortly after I started on this little journey of mine. Put it off off off. Finally got it this week. And I've been kicking myself for waiting! The woman knows what she's doing; we'll just put it that way. Buy it! Buy it now!

Then we've got Miss Nom Nom herself. I do not know how she does it! Work, cook, CrossFit, cook, mommy, cook, friends, cook. And she's a wife on top of it all. She makes it look easy. Know what though? After this weekend, I'll know how she does it! P.S. She's got the best first name in the world :)

Last, but not least, is Holly. I'll be honest, I didn't know about Holly until Nom Nom and Melissa posted about this event. "Hmm" thought I. "Who's this Holly person? Cute website name! Let's go see." What did I see? A cute website to go with the cute name. And way more than "just" a foodie blog (I don't think there's any such thing as "just" when it comes to a blog. People are putting it out there so I'm in no way trying to knock anyone). She talks about life. Her struggles with weight loss (and what it should really be about). Her skin (yay!). Her man. Hell, even what she wants to wear. I'm down. I'm glad she's going to be there because, just as with the other two lovlies presenting tomorrow, I've really enjoyed going through her archives.

These women are so honest in their blogs. Their voices really come through, and I think that's actually what I appreciate the most. Life isn't all about food.

The only thing I'm not super excited about? It's in Estes Park. Now don't get me wrong, from what I understand it's beautiful up there. I've never been. Know why? Because it's like 2 hours from Denver. I like being close to home. That's all there is to that. So I'll be driving for 4 hours tomorrow!

Oy.

But that's ok. I think this will be worth it. I'll be getting out of my comfort zone (something I've decided I must do more of, and that's part of why I decided to go to this), I'll be meeting new people, I'll see a new place, and I'll learn how to make Paleo work even better for me.

Paleo is not for weight loss (at least not for me)

I commented to a couple people at work today that as of Saturday, I'm going to be very strict Paleo for another 30 days. I've been pretty good (though I've decided I don't like to tie values of good or bad to my food choices anymore thanks to those Hartwigs) since my last posting, but chocolate is still my serious boyfriend. I'd say I'm about to do a Whole30 but screw you if you think I'm giving up the teaspoon and a half of sugar in my tea in the morning. Seriously, that's my daily gift to myself and I love it so be quiet.

Anyway, their response was "You don't need to lose ANY more weight".

Ok, Huston, Hussy has a problem (or two).

#1-You're both men. Shush about what I need/need not do with my weight. I'm not normally one to get all "oh you men and your oppression of women with your man's world and blah blah blah" I take the Marilyn Monroe stance on that. "I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it." However, I don't think a couple - nice but - overweight men need to tell me about my weight. Just no. No no no no no no no.

#2- When have I ever said this was about weight loss? You can't tell me when, because it never happened.

This is about my health. Did I think weight loss would be a side effect? Check my first Paleo post. Uh yeah, I did. And no, I was not opposed to losing it. While I certainly wasn't obese or what most people even think of as having a little extra sumpthin' these days - I was the heaviest I'd been in my life. I know many women would be thrilled with my before being their after, and that's ok for them, but it was not a good place for my body. Which is why I started losing weight so fast. Eat how your body wants you to, in the amounts it needs, and don't feed it stuff that makes it defensive, you'll lose some junk from your trunk. But first and foremost, I was sick of being sick.

So. Chocolate and I are taking a break from each other after tomorrow. It's ok. Absence makes the heart grow fonder yes? Yes. Or something. Whatever. After my 99.9% clean paleo month, we're moving to full immune protocol (but again, you can stuff it about my tea).

Which means... no eggs! WTF?! No freakin eggs. I love eggs!!!! And exclamation points! Oh goodness, I'm worried. Thankfully, "Practical Paleo" is here to rescue me. 30 day autoimmune food plan? Why thanks very much Lady! I'll be making use of that.

What is weird anyway?

Today a man I admire, respect and care for like a member of my family said something to me that took me by surprise. He came up to me and said "I'm mad at you." I of course inquired as to why. He informed me that he was concerned about me eating all "this weird stuff" and that I looked fine before but now I'm too skinny.

He had in his hands a bag of bagels from a chain bakery. I had in my hands a kale salad with chicken (and mind you, not just chicken, but super yummy chicken that tasted like the ginger and cinnamon I'd cooked it in. Though sadly, no cherry flavor from the cherries...more cherries next time!) covered with a homemade balsamic vinaigrette dressing.

Thankfully the first person to pipe up to defend my "weird" food was another coworker who happened to be at my desk. She has yet to jump on the Paleo bandwagon, and frankly I think is probably a bit skeptical and would rather have a bagel than a kale and chicken salad (can't say I would blame her, I totally miss everything bagels). But know what came out of her mouth? It went a little something like this: "Do you know how much bacon she eats? Don't worry, she's NOT starving herself. She's just trying to stay healthy!"

Amen.

I am trying to stay healthy.

I explained to him what a normal food day looks like for me, and that the weight loss was not actually a goal; the end to me feeling like a stomped on pile of poo was the only reason I changed anything. He was somewhat satisfied, but is still of the opinion I'm too skinny. Hell, they say you can't please everyone, and it appears that's true.

A couple hours later, I was in the deep thought room, AKA bathroom and my brain said "Hey now! What's more weird, the salad that you made yourself from a handful of healthy mostly organic ingredients, or the bag full of bagels made from genetically modified grains, fillers, binders, sugars, fake fats and goodness knows what else?" Sadly, I'd have to say that the bagels are what's normal and my salad is indeed weird. It's not normal these days to make your own food. We pay other people to do it. And don't get me wrong, that's all fine and dandy in its own way for the economy, but it's not fine and dandy for our health.

We hand our health over to everyone else. Other people cook for us, we tell someone in a white coat where it hurts and they give us a piece of paper that the pharmacist magically turns into a bottle of pills. We listen to the doctors on TV telling us we need to eat fish one day, then fish is bad because of mercury so eat flax instead. Whole grains are good, and animal fats are bad. We don't stop to look at our lives, our bodies, and think about the reason we need to see the white coats in the first place.

This is what is normal.

But that doesn't mean it's right, and it doesn't mean it's ok. We're sick and fat and tired and cranky. So are our children.

We sleep too little and complain too much about it the next day. We avoid the sun like it's a serial killer on a mission, and then stuff our stomachs full of Vitamin D so our bones don't snap when we stand up. We watch TV instead of talking to our families and friends or going for a walk. We toss back the caffeine like it's manna from Heaven just to get ourselves through another day.

That's all normal. Totally flippin normal.

So, screw normal. I'll continue to eat "weird things" and get healthier, thankyouverymuch.

Oh, and P.S., never tell a woman she's anything other than too beautiful. No matter what you mean by it, it will not turn out well for you. [Mumbles to self...Too skinny my ass! No really, I've got a booty that I still hear about when I'm walking and minding my own business. So there's no way I'm too skinny. But I would like to stop hearing about my booty. It's awesome, I already know that ;)]

Acountability

Yeah, so I went to the Whole 9 seminar today, but that's not what this post is about. I'll write a proper review when I've got more time and more sleep. I was so excited last night that I slept like all kinds of poo. I assume because I was worried I wouldn't wake up on time. My biggest personal fear, and something I loathe in others is what we'll call "a lack of promptness". Loathe is not too strong a word either. Anyway, enough about that. Oh, rest assured though, the seminar was most awesome.

I started this blog to keep myself accountable for the changes I was making to my lifestyle and diet. I've kinda slacked off on that, and it's been to my own detriment. Don't get me wrong, I'm still doing pretty well overall, but without having to tell someone what I'm doing (yes, even if that "someone" is my little blog...I still haven't figured out who's reading this other than my mom and C on occasion, but I'm making myself accountable to whomever you are too...because my stats say it's way more than just those two reading my crazy rambles.)

I talked a bit about the Vegas family trip. I didn't have a ton of food options (yes I know Vegas is full of ALL KINDS of options, but we weren't on the strip so I was limited to the food available in the hotel and all those other options are not my cup of tea.) Hence all the Fat Burger action. And Starbucks. Tall Chai thank you very much. I think that was actually what derailed some of my progress. Milk and sugar. Not in small amounts either. Nope.

So yeah, my psoriasis is flaring, and it's my own damn fault.

Now, it's not as bad as my bet is it would have had I not already adopted the changes I had. And not as bad as it would be if I still got no sun. I love the sun. I used to think the sun didn't love me back, but turns out that was purely a misunderstanding between us. But that's what happens when the middle man in communication is a sun-phobic brainwashed dermatologist. The sun and I have worked it out though and I've promised not to listen to doctors too much.

On the subject of sun. I have a not so secret secret. I'm not a natural redhead. It suits me for sure. I have the right temperament, and can get very pale (coughanemiacough), so everyone just assumes. And you know what they say about assuming... Red hair does not work with a tan though, and tanning is something my skin excels in. It's actually a bit of an effort to stay this stereotypically Celtic in appearance. So since I plan on being tan forever now, I have to not be a redhead anymore. This could be the hardest part of this whole lifestyle change for me. I've not decided yet if that is laughably great, or laughably sad. Either way though, I'm for sure laughing. Life is tough no? ;)

I'm tired and so my brain is just working on this stream of consciousness stuff, or whatever the hippies call that. I think my original point was that I'm going to have blog more of the mundane food shtuffs for a bit to get myself back on track. Yeah. Pretty sure that was supposed to be the point of this post. I guess that's why I titled it "Accountability".

I don't do well on little sleep, so sorry for this post. I'm still going to click publish though. Shame? No sorry, I'm not familiar with this concept...

I'M SO EXCITED, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW!

Why am I so excited I used all caps and an exclamation point? Let me tell you!

This Sunday I'm going to a Whole 9 seminar! Don't know Whole 9? You should. They're nifty. And come on, not hard people to look at (and you know how I feel about attractive people). That's a good thing, since I'll be looking at them from 9 am til 5 pm.

I've been kinda bummed that it is likely I'll never get a Robb Wolf nutrition seminar since he's trying to change the world in other ways at the moment (yay for the world, boo for little ol' me). I discovered this Paleo thing a bit too late in the game for that. Sigh. So when I found these folks and shortly thereafter found out they'd be coming to town, I was stoked.

Yes, I am from Southern California...why do you ask?

Anyway, I'll be waking up bright and early on Sunday to drive super north to soak up massive nutrition and lifestyle knowledge delivered by pretty people with dry erase markers. Don't worry though, I'll still be sleeping later than a normal work day, so I won't be sad.

Anemia. It's lame.

There is a particular type of muscle exhaustion that comes with having severe anemia. It's really hard to explain. Almost like your muscles are ready to give out on you. You can feel it in your heart. And I don't mean metaphorically. I mean literally. Your heart feels so worn out. I do not recommend it.

I work on the 2nd floor of our building, so I refuse to take the elevator unless my hands are so full that opening doors would require circus act capabilities. Sometimes I regret this. Those times are when my hamstrings and quads are saying, gee lady, if we had enough red blood cells for energy, this would be so much easier! It's just one floor, but it reminds me how difficult it can be to get back to great health when you've been sick for so long. In a way it's very humbling. Truth be told though I'd rather be humbled in some less concerning way.

Since I've changed my diet, I have not needed to take as much iron as I used to. This is fantastic for my bank account. The iron I take is not that little black/brown pill they prescribe that makes it impossible to poop for a couple weeks but has a tiny price tag. I take a liquid iron and it's not cheap. I still have not found the proper number of days I need to take it though. As you can imagine, I'd rather not overdose on iron either. I used to have to take it every single day of my life. If I missed a couple days, I noticed and paid for it with not being as active as I otherwise would have liked to be. I thought that would be the rest of my life. Take iron or no walks in the park! Yet another reason I'm grateful for having found Paleo.

I have no clear end point in my mind for this post. So I guess then this is the end of the post :)